Ask Tak
by Constellation Temptation
Summary: Tak's friends have forced her to recieve whatever crap you guys want to send her! Ask her you questions, comment on past events, recommend stuff, and send in whatever you want her to review. She will pretty much accept anything (use this chance before she get's tired off it)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I dont own IZ**

**This is in no way related to any other fics, or tumblrs that also have things where Tak answers stuff. And I dont own any of the other stuff either.**

"Hello to all my fellow humans." A girl with dark blue hair in a bob introduced. She had a bit of makeup on (too much on for the age she looked) and a beauty mark on her cheek.

"My name is Tak." she introduced with a strong accent.

"Just so you know, I am not doing this due to my own free will. My so-called _friends _made the decision for me to do this thing without my consent!"

"Yeah yeah, we're bad friends, we get it. Now can you just explain what this thing is?" a voice said from offscreen. Tak sighed.

"Very well. This thing that has been forced upon me is called _Ask Tak._ Basically, it's where human such as yourselves who have too much spare time ask me meaningless questions, dare me stuff, etc for your entertainment. You can ask anything, from whether I have a crush, if I can divide by zero, and why I'm friends with these people."

"Hey!" another voice cried from somewhere off screen.

"To ask a question, or comment, you can PM us from this random girl/fanfiction writer we don't really know, or if you don't have an account, can leave in the reviews."

"Well, I think that's all I had to say. I'll see you all later, if we ever get any responses. See ya!"

**So send in whatever! Have an idea for a skit? Send it! Have a dare? Send it! Have a stupid question? Send it! Want Tak to react to stuff? Tell us all about it! And plz leave a review. Reviews give me life.**


	2. Chapter 2

**OMG, ppl actually bothered to read my fic! Thank you for not ignoring it and sending in your stuff! I love you all! Well, here's the next chapter**

Everything is silent. There is no one on stage, at least it doesn't look like it. And then there's faint screaming in the backround. Said screaming gets louder as each moment passes. And then there is an explosion, and a shopping cart speeds into the room and crashes into a wall.

"Ow..." three figures stumble out of the crashed "vehicle" All three of them are the size of children, except two of them looked like giant bug aliens. Suddenly, they didn't look like a trio that just crashed into a wall. They all looked proud and victorious.

"Guys, we got it! We got the magic silver potato!" One of the bug like things shouted, holding up a silver lump, which was probably the potato thing.

"Yeah! And we only destroyed half the city trying to escape from the screaming squirrel banshee that was guarding it!" the boy cried, shooting his fist into the air. The three of them cheered, until:

"Uh, guys... I think the cameras rolling..." the alien with the purple eyes said in a voice eerily similar to the host of this story.

"We can cut that part out... right?"

* * *

><p>"Welcome fellow humans to the second chapter of "Ask Tak." Due to people not completely hating it, we are able to continue this dookie." Tak said happily. "Please excuse the hole in the wall. That should be fixed by next chapter. So just ignore it." she motioned in the general area of it.<p>

"Anyway, here first questions people bothered to send in.

Falcon8492 asks:

What's up with your accent?

If you abandoned your post on Dirt without orders, doesn't that technically make you a defect, even if your confident and justified?

Where is MiMi? Is she ok?

What did you do when you found out Dib "salvaged" your ship?

Do you think Dib's head is big?"

"These are all actually good questions, and I hope I'll be able to give some good answers. Ok, the first answer is: I don't really know! It was just programmed into my PAK for some reason. I'm assuming you all know what a PAK is, so if you don't... well, sorry, but that's just bad luck. Question two! Um... I'm not really sure how to answer this one really. Your considered to be a possible defect if you commit a crime. Leaving my post could be considered a crime, but to really confirm a defect, one would have to be given a proper Trail, and for that to happen, one would have to do multiple crimes. Because if every tiny little thing you did wrong or without orders made you a defect, well, nobody is perfect, so we would basically be all killed. That's all I have to say on that matter."

"Number three. MiMi fell apart when Gir made her go all crazy, however I was able to repair her easily, as none of her parts were really broken. I just had to put her back together. I would show her to you guys, but I don't really know where she is right now..."

"Moving on. When I found that Dib had "fixed" my ship, I yelled at him. For awhile. A long while. Like, for five minutes. But when I saw the repairs he and his sister made, I'll admit, I was a bit impressed. And I had a new, better ship anyway, so I just let him keep it."

"And the final question from Falcon8492... Yes. I'm sorry Dib, but your head is definitely bigger than an average human's."

"Oh come on!" a voice, most likely Dib's, sounded from off screen.

"The next set of questions are from "LagrimasSolitarias"

"How old are you? The answer: I am 302 years old. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that's about 24 in human years."

"What is the bloodiest way to kill someone? Well, Irkens don't usually torture others before death unless we're experimenting on them. And even them, we don't usually draw blood. We just sorta... shoot em with something and then we move on. The bloodiest death I have personally ever cause was when I accidentally pushed an employee into a meat grinder when visiting my father's factory. It went as well as you think it did. For killing in general? Probably repeatedly stabbing someone."

"This one's a dare... a dare to kiss Zim..."

"What!? Why me!" another voice from off stage cried out.

"Probably because some people ship you two." Dib's voice responded.

Tak just stood there awkwardly as the two people talked

"Why can't she get dared to get kissed by Skoodge instead?"

"Hey, don't drag me into this, i'm just trying to eat my cupcake."

"Nobody cares Skoodge." a female voice retored.

"Can we just get on with this already?" Tak asked impatiently.

"Fine!" a kid with dark hair and green skin marched out int view.

"Everyone, this is Zim." Tak introduced. "He's one of the friends that forced me to do this and now he is facing the consequences because of this dare."

Tak gave him a quick kiss on the forehead. The green boy marched back out of view without saying a word. There is a moment of silence.

"Well I don't know what you were expecting. Rainbows? Fireworks?" Tak said, shrugging.

"Anyway, that is all we have time for today! I will see you all next time, and remember to send in your stuff!"

"And leave a review!" Dib's voice shouted from somewhere.

"Yeah, that too. Good bye!"

**And that's chapter two. I should be updating every few days, or as soon as I get enough questions. Thanks for reading! **


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